Stress is part of university life, we must endure it. For everyday is a new course 
of agonizing pain as your cerebral cortex is infused more and more with data so 
much that your neurons bulge and fluctuate with agony until you mind wants to 
explode in relief. Your life collapses around you as you struggle to sleep and eat, 
you spend days functioning on caffeine, sugar and sheer madness and your relationships 
suffer until you enter the final exam to find the only thing you need to remember is 
your name and that you really didn’t like this subject. And you emerge from the exam 
with a pile of hair on your hand, a pain your heart and the feeling of darkness 
encroaching your soul. If so, you know stress and know it well. This article will 
help you deal with stress, embrace stress, release stress to avoid several sanity 
hearings and psychiatrist bills.

Sources of stress and how to handle it.
There is more than one source of stress at Uni. Sure it all comes from the work but 
it was a ripple effect on your whole life. So there are many sources of stress.
This sections show you how to see the stress, what it causes and how to minimize its 
effects.

Uni
The first and most obvious cause of stress. Usually spawns from the need to achieve 
at Uni, first question you must ask yourself is. Do I enjoy what I’m doing? If no, 
that’s your first problem, Uni is about studying the knowledge that makes life 
interesting. If you hate working on your car, forget engineering. If you can’t stand 
blood, give up medicine. If you hate math, forget accounting. Uni is the study of 
knowledge. Look at art’s (see stereotyping article). Art is usually the study of 
theoretical and artistic subject for fun, and look at those students, they have 
ignorantly less leaves of stress that other types of students. So first way to deal 
with stress is to enjoy what you learn.

The question is, am I pushing myself too hard? We don’t all have beautiful minds or 
are natural born scholars like the great philosophisers or Albert Einstein (note: 
Einstein slept with his cousin, abandoned her and his children for a bimbo, went 
to America and forgot his address there, boiled a egg in soup and eventually died 
because he forgot to feed himself which caused terminal ulcers, not a great man 
especially since his technology can kill all humanity). So the point is we all 
can’t have HD’s, even if you have a high IQ, sometimes it just to hard for us to 
get those mark, some subjects we are just not compatible with. So remember, it’s 
ok just to pass, it’s even ok to fail occasionally. We aren’t all great academics. 
Also remember help is around you. Smart people love to help others, it makes them 
feel smart so ask them and many will do this for free. “To admit you weakness, is 
the greatest if strengths…Robert wells”. Also use the resources at the Uni. The 
lecturer and tutor are your employees, ask them stuff, harass them, and torment 
them. This should make the torture of exams easier.

Work
A reality of life is that we all need money, money for everything. Well my advice 
is to relax and not work if you can avoid it. I mean money is money, if it’s 
necessary get it but maybe you should go less materialistic in order to survive 
at Uni. Do you need to club, drink, smoke, wear fancy clothes, have new phones, 
have a hot car? Well then work if the answer is yes, but remember…money comes 
easier after Uni so just relax, a good way to work while studying is to make a 
shirt labeled “starving Uni student” on a busy street next to an open hat and 
just wait for the $$$$. Many employers are reasonable about your work performance 
and if they aren’t one day you won’t be there anymore. So just look at life easier.

Relationships
Friend, families and spouses. Gift or Curse? Your relationships can be pushed to 
the edge. This is a difficult thing to handle, first your family if they are truly 
your family will understand your struggle and help you as best they can, if not 
they are not true to you and your must remember that you are your own master and 
it’s your life and that if they will no longer support you they must be disregarded. 
And your friends, well friend from your past are very hard to keep with Uni as many 
develop there own lives and abandon you as have different interests. However if they 
are truly loyal they will do all they can to help you in this troubling time. Uni 
friends however have a deep sense of solidarity with you and should be able to work 
together with study, this makes studying a less isolating and more interactive and 
pleasurable experience as you can ask and answer questions and have friendly faces 
to comfort you in your hour of need. The last but least is your spouse, a good and 
loyal spouse will help you deal with exam and understand you are too busy for them, 
as will most friends will. Spouses are a fantastic source of comfort and assistance 
in your stress and can make life just a little less dreary. These people are your 
support network, while they create stress they help you deal with it. No person can 
function alone, we all need a friend as “one who can’t trust and depend on another, 
can not depend on themselves…Robert wells”

Dealing with stress
To eliminate stress try various techniques which have been devised. Great ones have 
been listed here.

Sleep
Take a nap, just schedule a nap if you’re burning out. A lot of people get cranky 
when they’re tired so a nap is a great solution. You will also work faster after a 
nap. A good night sleep is fantastic so try to get a good night sleep. The use of 
sedatives and other relaxants are permitted especially with high anxiety.

Food and drink.
An army marches on it stomach and so do you. Don’t starve yourself or else your 
brain will not function and that will make study and exam twice as hard with your 
stomache growling. Eat well, maybe even gain a few pounds. And you’ll be less 
fatigued and more ready for battle

Exercise
Your body needs to move, it needs to run and needs to breath. So get outside and 
take a little walk. Fresh air invigorates your soul. And your soul is the core of 
your being. Why did prisoners use to go mad and weak, no fresh air amongst other 
things. So breath and fill your soul. Wind is great so run in the storm with the 
crashing rains, it fills you with a vibrant soul and energy for battle. Nature is 
also very important just sitting in a field and feeling the world embrace you. 
Sun, wind, rain, the surf. Water and wind sports are great for energy, as people 
feel greater freedom. This is why the beach is such a popular primary energy boost 
as a  man born from the sea wants to return despite the inconvenience, pain, expense, 
salty taste and lack of a good shower and sand. Off course the ultimate in 
invigoration comes from nudism. Now I haven’t tried it with any company but use 
logic here. Your as comfortable as your going to get clothes wise. You get to 
experience nature and fill every aspect of yourself. Nature heals the body better 
when it is  naked. Sure people get embarrassed but no one’s perfect, we all got 
flaws and one does not judge at a nudist colony (by-laws). However I understand it 
not everyone’s cup of tea, so how about just studying in the nude. In your room 
alone. It feels different at first but you’ll feel a little more invigorated as it 
is just a simple change.

Veging out
Sometimes it’s nice to just sit in front of the tube or your computer screen, catch 
a flick, chat to ya mates and just enjoy relaxing with friends, I find this fantastic 
for the soul. Talking with people calmly and casually can allow you to get the weights 
off your chest without even trying. You may see new people every day but who would you 
call if you needed help because you were taken prisoner by extremists. Or you think 
your life is going crap, who will guide you. You need support and you need to learn just 
to casually chat and not go emotional. Uni is hard but if you don’t control Uni, Uni 
will control you. So just sit, rent a comedy, an action or even a porno and relax with 
some popcorn and some friends, maybe have a deck of cards and a few scare stories like 
at sleepovers. Remember how happier and free you were at sleepovers. That is a feeling 
that should never go away.

Meditation
Advanced stress fighter now, we have reached the more advanced techniques. This is 
simple. Just picture a pleasant place or just and empty room of nothing and breath 
in and out, in and out and just focus on whatever you want. Focus on your breathing 
and just your breathing. Such a simple task will relax you and make you feel a lot 
more spiritual. Many religions use meditation such absurdum, Taoism, various new age 
beliefs and even jediism (Jedi religion… www.jediism.org) 

Drugs
Now drugs are bad, if you are dependant on them. So for starters nothing illegal. That’s 
only for people who are already off the normal stuff. Now alcohol is great for a full 
night of relaxation or taking the edge off. But it takes a long time to recover, so a 
quick nip should make all well. Now if your strong willed and never done it, regular 
smoking has some good advantages. I know it’s evil and causes cancer and each one takes 
time off your life. But if your strong willed you can have one or two and never need 
another. I personally was compelled to try one and I remember being so mellow and relaxed 
it was fantastic. I could barely walk and I didn’t even finish the first one. I had like 
4 over a period of several months so I am in no way dependent on it. So give it a try if 
your strong willed and can resist chocolate, impulse shopping then yes. Give it a whirl. 
Caffeine is no good, it makes you nervous, paranoid and despite common belief is addictive, 
unless you want to always be on edge ready for battle, go for relaxants. Technically nicotine 
is a stimulate but hey what can I say. I know first hand it’s very mellow. 

Sex
Are yes, the big and the best. Sex is a powerful relaxant and should be used to the maximum. 
If you got a 
partner, fantastic. I suggest regular mating to ensure your mind is calm and relaxed. Try 
anything and everything you can and trust me, Stress will be a thing of your past. Many of 
you say, woah how much is everything. Well try it once what’s the worse thing that can happen, 
the art of making the body experience joy without anything but it is an art that must be 
experimented with and mastered. Now if you haven’t got a partner. Well their nothing stopping 
you. Maybe you could find a sex buddy to assist you, someone else stressed with exams perhaps. 
Women should have no trouble in finding a willing partner (not that they should do it alone) 
however men might have to take things into their own hands. Men need to be satisfied regularly 
or they develop a condition I call SSS (seminal stress syndrome) which is caused by an overflow 
of hormones hijacking your brain. Women don’t understand it just like PMS, it makes men unable 
to control emotions, their 
genital become tender, they minds become weak and they lose control over psychical strength. 
Men need to try and relieve this tension, ask a good friend for a roll in the hay, consider 
various martial aids or new techniques. Now some women have trouble finishing. Well I suggest 
that you may get some mechanical aid, or tell your partner to finish it off more manually. If 
he has no knowledge the internet is a fantastic and discrete resource for such information or 
you can assist him with careful instruction. He should be willing to oblige as remember “a job 
half finished is a job undone…Robert wells.” especially if motivate by repeat concerns. I 
suggest in some cases an all night love fest and midday quickies as a little bit of nookie makes 
the world easier. Have you ever seen a depressed porno star? I suggest you experiment and do it 
often as it is free, cheap, good exercise, induces breathing and makes you feel wonderful. So go 
out and get laid and stress will be a distant memory. (note: any girls in the Greater Sydney region, 
fell free to contact me care of unichat to see theory in practice or just to chat.)

Well I have said what I can on stress, it is a terrible force to be reckoned with. Now that you 
know the main sources and some cues you should be able to manage it. Poor stress management can 
lead to eating disorders, depression, involuntary rages, emotional breakdown and even cardiac 
problems. All I which I  know of first hand and still deal with today, I learned to accept stress 
as a part of life and use it to push my limit further but sometimes you need a little piece of 
relaxation so do what you can to alleviate yourself or else you could end up a ball of nerve who 
walks into Uni one day, arms a machine gun and goes out firing, or with a little help can be mellow 
and successful with exams.

Contact Robert Wells personally for stress counselling service of all sorts. He’s seen it all when 
it comes to stress such as:

* People trying to steal other brains to past math tests
* Caffeine junkies go mad and try to suck caffeine through people’s veins.
* People rip hair out in middle of exams
* People starve themselves until they have their friend drag their mindless bodies
* People eating 6 full meals a day
* People smashing people’s head threw glass
* Breaking down and crying in large crowds
* Making ultimatums with the universe threatening suicide
* Driving head long into semi-trailers at 120km an hour
* Praying to 7 major deities at once
* Cutting off old friends
* Spying on enemies
* Plotting to take over the world using various chemical methods
* And more…

From the eccentric sage Robert wells

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